I have a really low self esteem and i need help!?

I'm a 16 year old teen who has a boy friend of a year and a half, When i was younger i was malested from the 2nd grade to the 6th then raped till the 7th when my mom walked in on him after work. I love my boyfriend dearly and i know that he loves me, he always trys to comfort me and help me with my problems. he's my back bone, best friend and i pray someday my soul mate. My only problem is i have really bad insecurities, and no one understands why /: I don't see what people see when they look at me. i see so many flaws that others don't and i tear myself down. We can walk down the street and every guy is staring we get things thrown at us (twice) and we get honks. My problem is i can't stand the fact of him seeing a naked chick in a movie or anything, it's gotten worse to where even commercials with pretty women makes me uncomfortable. i get it physically. i start to shake i feel like throwing up and i get a dry lump in my throat. he ashures me everytime that he has never wished i had anything different, that hes just watching the movie and that he's not thinking of anything like that but i still feel like he is. i get mad at him and start fights which is ridiculous but my heart starts beating and my emotions start to go. its just so hard for me, i want to be better for him, give him the happiness he deserves and to be the great girlfriend i used to be /: i just want to be normal for him and it seems like i'm not getting anywhere! i feel like such a freek that at times i just don't want to live anymore. but being the believer i am, i know that thats not an option for me at all. i just really need someones help or advice. anything will help and please... try not to be mean /: